Madness
by Kosaten no Kokinatsuyosa
Summary: And that, ladies and gents, and Robot Monkeys of all ages, is what this fic entails! Mandarin escapes from SK's lair and chaos  as well as Chinese food, and excessive use of alliteration  ensues.
1. Villianous Villiany

Run and hide in your bomb shelters, everyone! Antauri's Shadow is writing a multi-chapter crackfic! :D

Chapter 1: Villainous Villainy

It was a bright and sunny day in Shuggazoom City, and everyone was happy.

Everyone that is, except for the Skeleton King (fortunately). The great and powerful Ruler of Evil is never happy because he is always (fortunately) getting his bony butt beaten down by everyone's favorite team of robotic inter-galactic crime fighting super superb simians, but today he was exceptionally ticked off because Mandarin had escaped from his cell.

"That orange-furred nincompoop was supposed to be executed at dawn! I can't have my new pet take his place if that disgrace is still running around!" The Skeleton King roared, his villainous vexation evident.

"I am not a pet…" the new Skelemandarin protested pitifully, despite the fact that he was perched upon the undead king's knee.

"Of course not, my good and faithful servant, Skelemandarin, how thoughtless of me." Said the Skeleton King, petting the obscenely obnoxious creature.

"Don't ever call me that!" The clone screeched. "I AM Mandarin! I am, I am, I am, I am, I am!" the hideously heinous little beast howled in a toddler-esque tantrum of titanic proportions.

" If we may interrupt, tick-tock." Came the voice of the mighty master of the Mecha Realm, with the small simian Sakko at his side. "Must the pathetic primate prisoner be executed at dawn, sire? After all, what is a few hours in the grand clockwork of things, tick-tock?"

"Of course, it must, Lord Scrapperton!" Came the Skeleton King's reply and he shook his head in disbelief. " You of all of my most loyal servants should know that dawn is the only time a proper execution can be executed excitingly, even if an enslaved executionee escapes. An execution at any other time simply isn't done, it's just not proper!" he exclaims and waves his scepter thingy around in the air. It glows, and a tremendously terrible tome titled, "The Book of Evil" appears before them in a fantastic flash. Sakko screeches in fright as the gargantuan book flattens him.

"You see," began the Skeleton King opening the decrepit, dusty, dingy disgrace of literature. "It's right-" he stops, suddenly, a long skeletal finger tapping the page impatiently. He flips a few pages, unable to find the one he's looking for. "Well, it's in here somewhere!" the undead overlord snaps, slamming the guide to gore, violence and other such villainy shut.

"Page 18,475, my lord." Came the muffled mumblings of the monkey mushed beneath the book. "Line 248."

"Ah, here! See!" exclaimed the king pointing at the proffered passage, and Scrapperton squinted, and found the Skeleton King to be absolutely correct.

"We must find him and recapture him and execute him properly!" screamed Skelemandarin, hopping about in a furious, frantic frenzy like the deranged mutant monkey that he was.

"And the Shuggazoom will be mine! Mwahahahahahaha!" laughed the Skeleton King.

(How recapturing Mandarin related to the total dominion of a small, relatively uninhabited pink planet is beyond this author, but apparently it does, in his mind.)


	2. Startling Sneezes

Hmmm….This one didn't come out as funny as the other chapter did, I think, but the next one won't make as much sense otherwise.

Chapter 2: Startling Sneezes

Remember when I told you that everyone on Shuggazoom that day was happy? Of course you do, and if not, read the previous chapter, you silly reader! Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that someone else, in fact several someones, were also unhappy on that particular day.

"Why?" You ask? "Who?" You ask? The answer is really relatively relatable - it's quite simple, I assure you.

It all began in the quiet of Antauri's meditation room. The silver simian was seated stoicly in midair, as usual, and was meditating, as usual, until he was abruptly (and unusually) disturbed by a peculiar sensation in his nose. It was one that he recognized, but he felt few psychical sensations these days, which is the price he paid for trying to be a martyr when the universe still needed him. Because of the abrupt appearance of the sudden sensation, the poor primate was caught completely by surprise.

The silence of the meditation room was murdered by a rather impressive sneeze. This is when the problem began.

The argent advisor was forced furiously floorwards by the sudden sneeze and blinked in surprise. He was suddenly very aware of how dusty the room was, and the very thought caused him to go into an uncontrollable sneezing fit.

Still sneezing, he stumbled out of the sanctity of his room and made his way to Gibson's laboratory. On it's door was a sign. It read "Keep Out sub that means you, Sparx/sub .

"Gib-" Antauri tried to call to his friend, but his sneeze seemed to have a mind of it's own, and it apparently knew exactly who Gibson was, as well as to why Antauri was going to his lab, and of course, any self-respecting sneeze wasn't going to have any of that nonsense called treatment . Sadly for the sneeze, Gibson heard the silver sneezing simian, and came to his aid.

"Are you all right, Antauri?" the blue scientist asked him.

Sensing that his sneezes had decided to take a leave of absence, Antauri responded, "I believe so, now that I've stopped sneezing, but I fear that it may only be temporary." The sneezes banded together to prove his statement, as Gibson's brow furrowed in puzzlement.

"Curious." He said sofly, watching his helpless commanding officer. "It appears you're conceiving a common cold."

"I-" He sneezed. "-wasn't aware-" He sneezed again. "-that I could." He sniffled, not because he actually had any mucus in his airways to sniffle, it was a sound and movement his robotic body simulated as part of a natural reflex left over from instincts from his formerly organic brain, like trying to breathe.

"Gesundheit." The other only nodded his thanks, for fear of startling suspicious slumbering sneezes. "You are fully robotic, Antauri and although you are immune to organic viruses, you are still perfectly capable of contracting one designed to attack sentient machines." Antauri nodded in understanding. "Much like an organic cold, there really isn't anything I can do for you, except advise that you consume more oil that you would normally, your system is going to need it." Gibson turned to return to whatever he had been doing within his lab, but as Antauri turned to depart as well, Gibson snapped his fingers, spinning in Antauri's direction. "Have you seen, Chiro by any chance?"

Antauri shook his head, and reached out with his mind. He felt the young leader's presence nearby, in his room. The effort gave him a slight headache, for a reason he couldn't fathom. "No, I-" he sneezed, sniffled and continued. "- haven't, but I can retrieve him for you." He began to sneeze, and Gibson quickly stuck his tail, under his friend's nose. "My thanks, Gibson." He said, his voice beginning to sound thick due to the cold. Gibson's quick thinking appeared to relieve the sneeze, but the other monkey's furry tail tickled the robot's nose as it was pulled away, and Antauri sneezed anyway, a rather annoyed expression falling onto his facial features.

Gibson grabbed a blue box of tissues, and handed them to the other monkey. "Take these with you." He sighed.

"Chiro?" Antauri asked, as he opened the leader's door.

"Go away." Came the relatively rude response from the bed. Something moved beneath the covers. Antauri frowned, puzzled by the boy's blatant behavior. Antauri then proceeded to get Chiro out of bed the way he usually did.

Activating one of his claws, he phased it through the bedsheets and Chiro's shirt, until he sensed the boy's skin beneath his claw. He tickled the surface lightly, and the boy squirmed. Therefore, he continued, activating the other claw as he did so, but the response was not what the monkey expected.

"Antauri! Cut it out!" He yelled angrily, and he fell off the bed, in front of the silver monkey, his body tangled in the bedding. After struggling to free himself, he (still in his pajamas) looked up at a confused and rather hurt -looking Antauri. The boy looked at the monkey exasperated. "Can you just not do that right now, please?" He said. "I'm not in the mood." He crawled back into bed, muttering "I really don't feel good."

"As you wish, Chiro." Antauri said, still hurt. He sneezed. "Although, turning your foul mood upon me will not make you feel better." He said, in the same tone. "You are not the only one not feeling well." He muttered softly, and left.

As the door wooshed shut, it took a moment for Chiro's fuzzy brain to comprehend what had been said, not quite sure he heard the last part right. His upper body shot upwards in realization, but he flopped down onto the bed again, now miserable in both body and mind. "Man, why did I do that?" he groaned. "I'm such a jerk when I'm sick." He covered his head with the covers.

Antauri decided that this was one of those rare ocassions when he actually felt like sitting in his chair, and headed towards the command center. As he rounded a corner, he sneezed, and as he did so, an energy blast that was very much like his Monkey Mind Scream erupted from his mouth. There was an explosion, and Antauri was thrown against the opposite wall. The smoke cleared, revealing a gaping hole in the wall in front of him, and a wide-eyed Sparx and Nova, the pair of them intertwined. Antauri sweat-dropped. They all stared at each other, and then the couple quickly separated to a more decent position, given the current company.

"Uh, that's new..." Nova said, throwing her arms behind her head, a clear indication of her embarrassment.

Sparx chuckled nervously. "What happened, Antauri, Otto run out of stuff to fix?"

"I should get him to fix your brain." Nova remarked.

Antauri was still sitting on the floor, the same expression on his face. "Excuse me." It was all he could think to say. "Where did those tissues go?" he muttered. "Ah." Recovering the blue box, he made to leave, exiting the other's line of sight. They heard a sneeze.

"He…has a cold?" Sparx asked his girlfriend. She blinked in surprise "His voice did kinda sound funny…" the red monkey commented thoughtfully.

"Bless you!" She hollered after the sneeze's owner.

"Thank you Nova!" came the called reply, punctuated by another sneeze.

"Guess I should make some soup." Said Sparx, thinking out loud.


	3. Baddies Battle Balistic Boogers

Chapter 3: Baddies Battle Ballistic Boogers

As if this dreadful day couldn't possibly get any worse for our scoundrel smashing simian superheroes, (and their lovable pet Chengo) an atrocious and aurally abrasive and alarming alarm resounded raucously, rallying robotic righteous rascal rehabilitators right away.

"Where's Chiro?" Gibson wondered while wandering, waiting for the remainder of his team.

"Hey, where is everybody?" Sparx sounded slightly suspicious, somehow sensing something sinisterly sneaky stirring . Someone sneezed. "Still sick, Silver?" Sparx sniggered slightly.

"Huh?" Otto and Nova trudged from their tubes, sporting sickly and Chiro crawled close behind.

Antauri directed a declining digit at Sparx. "I- " He sneezed.

"Bless you." The team talked together.

"Heard that." He finished. "Thank you." Antauri added, addressing all the others.

Curiously, common colds are commonly contagious. Sadly, superfluous scientists stay susceptible.

"You too!" Sparx shouted at Gibson. "What are we gonna do to whatever old Bone Bag brings on us now with you guys sick!" He shouted. "Sneeze on them?"

"That could work." Chiro commented. Sparx stared.

"Clearly he failed to notice the gaping hole he created in the wall." Gibson grumbled. Antauri shuffled uncomfortably. "although I wouldn't complain, considering crime creating city criminals can currently contract common colds."

"So that's our plan!" Sparx shouted, shocked. "We sneeze on them?"

"Hey, they're Formless, it's not like they can get any more ugly, or disgusting." Nova reasoned.

"Let's go for it!" Otto cheered.

"Monkeys-" Chiro croakily commaned, coughing. Antauri attempted aid.

"Monkeys-" he began boldly, somehow suddenly sneezing. Otto groaned

"Let's just go." growled Gibson, and a nauseated Nova nodded as they trudged toward their foes fiendishly fabricated fanatical fight.

Sickly superheroes somewhat horrified healthy heinous hooligans.

"Well, well, look at what has become of the mighty Monkey team, Skelemandarin." Skelemandarin scowled, seeing S.K. snigger. S.K. stealthily snatched SRMTH's silver simian suddenly. Sparx's Second sneezed. Sakko screamed, S.K. shouted, shoving Silver, and shocking seven simians.

"He's got a virus! Get him away!" the cold-conscious cybernetic skeletal supreme supervillian screamed.

"They're all sick, Your Skeletal Supremacy!" The semi-living slaves screamed. "We'll get sick too!" they cried.

"Retreat!' came the order.

"We surrender!" skeletal slaves shouted. Sakko wildly waved a white cloth.

"I guess we won, Monkey Team." Chiro said, dumbfounded.

"So…can we go home now?" Nova asked.

"Let's go for Chinese food!" Otto suggested. The other stared. "What?"

"No way. We haven't been out for Chinese food since Mandarin was on the team. That's way to many bad memories." Said Sparx. Gibson looked doubtful.

'Food is the last thing I wanna think about right now." Notified Nova, who was still nauseous.

Chiro nodded in agreement. "Bring me back some though, okay Otto?"

"I suppose as the team's medical officer, I'll have to count this outing out, Otto" Gibson sighed.

"Nobody can go into the city with out backup so come on team, let's go." Chiro said. Otto trained behind the others unhappily. Antauri levitated behind the mechanic, looking a tad disappointed himself.

"But…" The advisor said softly, "I like Chinese food." Otto immediately perked up.

"Hey, Antauri can go with me!" Otto exclaimed. Chiro raised an eyebrow.

"Antauri's probably the worst off out of all of us, he can't go." Chiro gave his right hand monkey a quizzical look. "Can you?"

"I'll be fine," Antauri assured him. He sneezed into his elbow. " The rice and vegetables ought to be of some help, and I have been having a craving for spring rolls and sweet and sour soup." He admitted with a small smile. "Robotic oil, although necessary, does get a bit old after a time."

"Don't forget to eat some fruit you two, especially oranges, you'll need the vitamin C." Gibson orders.

"Oranges are Mandarin's favorite fruit." Sparx growled.

"Actually, he prefers clementines," Antauri corrected. "And I believe it would be wise to follow the doctor's orders." Gibson and Otto both smiled.

And so, Otto and Antauri went out for Chinese food.


End file.
